REPOST: Steps to empowering yourself

This article from NLP coach Christoph Schertler of Ezinearticles talks about the seven steps to self-empowerment.


1. Ask Yourself: What Do I Want?

To know what you want is the first step for you to get it. If you don't know what you want, how are you supposed to get it? Many people know what they don't want, but that does not help them to get what they do want.

Walking through life with a clear understanding of what you don't want is not sufficient to empower yourself. It is like going shopping with a list of items you don't want to purchase. It can help to keep you away from the things you don't want, but it does not help you to get he things you do want.

So ask yourself, "What do I want?" and keep listening until you hear a reply from within.


2. Ask Yourself: What Is Stopping Me From Getting What I Want?

This is an interesting question to ask yourself and most likely you will end up with an answer consisting of a mix of doubts (Maybe what I want is not the right kind of goal for me).

limiting beliefs (I can't achieve/ I don't deserve to achieve what I want).

attachments (Well, it would be nice to achieve what I want, but then I have to give up x).

resource issues (I'd love to get what I want, I am capable of getting it, I deserve to get it, but I simply don't have the resources I need in order to get it).


3. Deal With Your Doubts

When you have a moment of peace and quiet, close your eyes and internally visualize yourself achieving your goal. Make it like a 3D movie with you inside the movie as the main actor. See, hear, feel, smell, and taste what it is like to achieve what you are after. Make it even more real by intensifying the sounds and colors in the movie.

If achieving this goal does not satisfy you fully, make adjustments to it and rerun the movie until you are fully satisfied and have expelled any doubt that this goal is right for you.


4. Deal With Your Limiting Beliefs

This can be a bit tricky, because some of our limiting beliefs about our self, others, and the world stem from the distant past and are hard to uncover. If you feel that you have limiting beliefs that bother you but you find it hard to identify and constructively deal with them, you might consider getting professional help from a coach or therapist.

If you can identify a limiting belief, speak to it internally, as if it was a person. Ask: "What is it you want for me?" Limiting beliefs are often protective mechanisms that try to safe us from experiencing again some kind of suffering we have experienced in the past; So when you ask this question, you are likely to get an internal response like "To keep you safe, to spare you from x happening again."

When you know what your limiting belief is trying to achieve for you, you can start a dialogue with that belief about what you could do to satisfy its intention for you (e.g. "being safe") and at the same time go after your goal (e.g. "committing to a relationship").


5. Find Out What Your Current Situation Does For You

There is a very simple agenda that all humans (and animals) live by: "Maximize Happiness, Minimize Suffering." Of course, there are different stratgies people employ to maximize happiness, and not all of them are successful. But the agenda is pretty much universal.

Even people who seemingly are unhappy often get something positive out of their misery (e.g. attention, a reason to not participate in something they don't like, etc.) As provocative as it sounds, if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a while, it is likely that you are getting something out of it, because otherwise you would have moved on.

Consider this story: A businessman was transferred to a new position which meant that he had to travel around the world constantly. After a little while in this new position he picked up a habit that he had given up 10 years ago: Smoking. He was confused about that, because he had never missed the smoking after he had given it up. "Why did I all of a sudden start smoking again?" he asked himself.

Later, with the help of a professional, he realized that he had done it, because it made it easier for him to socialize. In a job where he only spent short periods of time with a constantly changing group of people, smoking meant an easy way to connect to others. Once he realized why he had started smoking again, he gave it up once more. He had to face the challenge of learning how to socializing with others first, though.

If you want to move towards your goal you have to first be clear on what you would like to keep from your present situation. Change for change's sake only does not last. If you want to make a change in your life, make sure it keeps the best aspects of your current situation and discards all the aspects you do not like.

So take a good look at all the positive side effects your current situation brings with it and try to integrate as many of them into your goals. That way it will be easier for you to achieve and maintain your desired future.

If your problems relate to resources only, make a resolution to make an effort to access existing resources and create new ones. This can be a tough road, but might very well be easier to handle than doubts, limiting beliefs and attachments. External obstacles often are easier to overcome than internal ones.


6. One Step At A Time

Don't bite off more than you can chew, but make sure you do take a bite to get yourself started towards your goal. Move at a pace that is comfortable for you, but not too comfortable, otherwise you will slack. As you start to invest time and energy in your goal you will find that it quickly starts to change

Your sense of self

Your relationships with others

Your schedule

And last, but not least, your goal itself will start to change. Yes, that's right, as you are going after your goal, it will start changing, maybe a little, maybe a lot, but it will definitely change. It is helpful for you to understand that that is a natural thing.

Life is a system, consisting of many parts, so as you start actively changing one part of the system (going after your goal), all other parts of the system will change, which in turn will make you re-evaluate your goal.

Stay calm as all these changes unfold in front of your eyes and trust yourself. With calm persistence you will reach your goal, even if it ends up looking very different from what it looked like when you first set it.


7. Play A Bigger Game

Playing a bigger game has to do with setting a goal that does not just satisfy you as an individual, but involves some degree of unselfishness and benefits others.

It also has to do with stretching yourself. If you do not feel a little unsure of yourself, maybe even a bit uncomfortable and challenged, chances are you are not playing a bigger game.

Playing a bigger game means embarking on a journey into the unknown, where you become a tool for a higher purpose. It requires of you a certain degree of surrender. It certainly is not a good game to play for control freaks.

Why play a bigger game? Because there is no fun in life without playing a bigger game.


Marc Accetta, training director at WorldVentures, shares his passions with many people through his live seminars and coaching programs. Visit his website for more details.

Changing careers? Things to consider before quitting your job

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The findings of a survey conducted by the Bureau of Labor Statistics note that men and women take on an average of 11 jobs from the age of 18 to 46. Another study attests that the reason why the currently employed still looks for another job is because of (1) frustration with current employer, (2) dissatisfaction with salary, (3) “poor leadership and vision” within the organization the employee is currently in, and (4) “increased number of job ads.”

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Whatever the reason may be behind switching jobs, it is a decision that must be well-thought-out. Below are two important things to consider before handing out a resignation letter:

Be practical. Quitting a job in the midst of an unstable economy can be a bad idea. It is best to find a job while you’re still employed, or save money first before you quit. It is hard to be jobless when you have a family to feed.

Find happiness. Many employees leave their job because they feel like they’re no longer happy with the company. But sometimes, the problem is not the job, the colleagues, or the boss. Sometimes, it’s the employee himself. Happiness is a state of mind, and it is not dependent on any kind of circumstance. Find a way to become fulfilled and happy in your job, and you might not regret throwing that resignation letter in the trash can.

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If you’re already decided on leaving the company, be courteous and mindful of the separation policy. Resign gracefully; don’t create a scene in front of your boss. The things you say and do will always be remembered, and they’ll have a profound effect on your professional life in the years to follow.

Marc Accetta, founder of MarcAccetta Seminars, helps people face difficult challenges through life coaching. Join Marc’s newsletter here.

IQ, the definition of success? Absolutely not

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If you think professional success is all about IQ, think again. Although exceptional intelligence is the necessary condition for outstanding achievements, it does not warrant personal and professional success. According to Forbes, a research carried out by the Carnegie Institute of Technology shows that 85 percent of financial success is due to “human engineering” – this touches on personality, communication skills, negotiation abilities, and leadership ingenue, and not the longtime-revered intelligence quotient. 

What then is the perfect formula for gaining success? Interestingly, success can be achieved through other forms of intelligence: emotional intelligence (EQ), moral intelligence (MQ), and body intelligence (BQ).

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Emotional intelligence refers to the awareness of your own feelings and those of others. It includes knowing how to regulate your feelings and appropriating them to certain situations. Tapping into emotional intelligence is easy by keeping a daily journal of thoughts. By becoming aware of your thought patterns, stress, which is a huge killer of emotional intelligence, can be kept at bay and coping strategies can be mastered.

Another prerequisite to success is moral intelligence, which deals with integrity, responsibility, sympathy, and forgiveness. By having moral intelligence, the wiggle room becomes smaller for excuses, avoiding responsibilities, and white lies.

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Lastly, body intelligence pertains to the level of familiarity and understanding you have of your body. A body often neglected will constantly send signals, telling you that you are not getting enough sleep or you’re overworked. While these factors may seem far-fetched in the context of business performance, body intelligence affects your work because it largely determines your thoughts, feelings, self-confidence, state of mind, and energy level any given day.



Life coach Marc Accetta has been catapulting people to success through his seminars and trainings. Know more about him through this Twitter page.

REPOST: How to achieve your goals with healthy habits

How do healthy habits help people achieve success? Learn about it from this article by Leo Babauta.

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We’ve all faced the disappointment and guilt that comes from setting a goal and giving up on it after a couple of weeks. Sustaining motivation for a long-term goal is hard to achieve, and yet the best goals can usually only be accomplished in a few months or even years.

Here’s the solution: Focus instead on creating a new habit that will lead to achieving your goal.

Want to run a marathon? First create the habit of running every day. Want to get out of debt and start saving? Create the habit of brown bagging it to work, or watching DVDs instead of going to the movies, or whatever change will lead to saving money for you. By focusing not on what you have to achieve over the course of the next year, but instead on what you are doing each day, you are focusing on something achievable. That little daily change will add up to a huge change, over time … and you’ll be surprised at how far you’ve come in no time. Little grains of sand can add up to a mountain over time. I used this philosophy of habit changes to run a marathon, to change my diet and lose weight, to write a novel, to quit smoking, to become organized and productive, to double my income, reduce my debt and start saving, and to begin training for an Olympic triathlon this year. It works, if you focus on changing habits. Now, changing your habits isn’t easy — I won’t lie to you — but it’s achievable, especially if you start small. Don’t try to change the world with your first habit change … take baby steps at first. I started by just trying to run a mile — and by the end of the year, I could run more than 20 miles.

How do you change your habits? Focus on one habit at a time, and follow these steps:

1. Positive changes. If you’re trying to change a negative habit (quit smoking), replace it with a positive habit (running for stress relief, for example).

2. Take on a 30-day challenge. Tell yourself that you’re going to do this habit every day, at the same time every day, for 30 straight days without fail. Once you’re past that 30-day mark, the habit will become much easier. If you fail, do not beat yourself up. Start again on a new 30-day challenge. Practice until you succeed.

3. Commit yourself completely. Don’t just tell yourself that you might or should do this. Tell the world that DEFINITELY will do this. Put yourself into this 100 percent. Tell everyone you know. Email them. Put it on your blog. Post it up at your home and work place. This positive public pressure will help motivate you.

4. Set up rewards. It’s best to reward yourself often the first week, and then reward yourself every week for that first month. Make sure these are good rewards, that will help motivate you to stay on track.

5. Plan to beat your urges. It’s best to start out by monitoring your urges, so you become more aware of them. Track them for a couple days, putting a tally mark in a small notebook every time you get an urge. Write out a plan, before you get the urges, with strategies to beat them. We all have urges to quit — how will you overcome it? What helps me most are deep breathing and drinking water. You can get through an urge — it will pass.

6. Track and report your progress. Keep a log or journal or chart so that you can see your progress over time. I used a running log for my marathon training, and a quit meter when I quit smoking. It’s very motivating to see how far you’ve come. Also, if you can join an online group and report your progress each day, or email family and friends on your progress, that will help motivate you.

Most important of all: Always stay positive. I learned the habit of monitoring my thoughts, and if I saw any negative thoughts (“I want to stop!”) I would squash it like a little bug, and replace it with a positive thought (“I can do this!”). It works amazingly. This is the best tip ever. If you think negative thoughts, you will definitely fail. But if you always think positive, you will definitely succeed.

Life coach Marc Accetta offers valuable guidance that changes the way people think about themselves. More articles about life goals and aspirations can be found on this site .

Unstoppable Foundation: Not stopping until every child receives education

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Education is empowerment. For Unstoppable Foundation, learning equates to lesser HIV cases and pregnancies in young women, longevity of life, increase in income, and ultimately, alleviation from poverty. Therefore, the organization has been investing in and bringing knowledge to the children of Kenya, Liberia, and Uganda.

In Kenya, the foundation has funded 17 schools. One of them is the Emori Joi Primary School. Built in 1969, this once-overcrowded mud structure has been rebuilt to include 16 school houses, water projects, latrines, and a library. To date, the school provides educational access to 768 local children. From the initial 60% in student attendance, Unstoppable Foundation has increased it by 20% more.

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Uganda has also benefitted from the organization’s generosity. Luwero, in particular, has gained greatly from the foundation’s initiatives. Once ruled by a dictator, this impoverished section of Uganda had been besotted by far-reaching social malady. Even the children of today are crushed by the harshest conditions of poverty, AIDS, illiteracy, and lack of support for the empowerment of girls and women. Wanting to counter these problems, the organization has fully outfitted schools to provide a safe and conducive environment for children to discover their potentials. In addition, the group has also afforded girls with their long-been-deprived-of right to education through “The Girl Effect Project.”

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Battered by the 14-year old civil war, Liberia has in effect had 85% illiteracy rate. For 14 years, Liberian children have been used as tools for unspeakable atrocities. But in 2005, with the change in administration, Liberia gradually saw change-- the disarmament and education of 20,000 child soldiers. Now, Liberian kids are holding pens and papers and slowly reaching their dreams through the organization’s aid in Becky Primary and Elwou Orphanage.

Today, the organization has funded 22 schools, which will empower 71, 960 children. Setting its sights on teaching more children, Unstoppable Foundation continues its pledge of ensuring every child gets access to education.

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Marc Accetta, a key speaker in life coaching, is a supporter of the Unstoppable Foundation. He has been helping the organization for several years now. Know how you can be of help through this blog.

Finding equilibrium amidst chaotic life and work

Finding an equal balance between life and work is still one of the biggest challenges faced by many employees and executives today. Driven by the hunger for an impressive career and the need to provide well for the family, many working individuals often find themselves caught in the turbulent toss-up between life and work.

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While work-life balance can easily mean equal number of hours for work and personal life, it is more than meets the eye. Work-life balance means daily achievement and enjoyment, ideas that are deceptive in their simplicity.

Achievement and enjoyment are the back and front of a coin. One cannot have one without the other. Living a one-sided life is why so many “successful” people are not happy or are not nearly as happy as they should be. To get the elusive work-life balance one has to value family. Career people are guilty of stealing time from their personal life. It is important to remember that family is the one facing all the risks, stresses, and financial swings of the business. If time for work and personal life are balanced, satisfaction in all other life aspects can be achieved.

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One can’t simply have it all. Career people are often too caught up in chasing the latest empty seat in the workplace, exhausting themselves until the desired position is achieved. However, most who have climbed the pedestal are too tired to enjoy their newfound glory or are too unprepared for the responsibilities.

While work-life balance is an ongoing challenge, the most important thing to bear in mind is to have achievement and enjoyment in the four quadrants of life – work, family, friends, and self. The absence of one could jeopardize everything. No amount of definition can tow the line on work-life balance. In the end, it is up to the individual to define what brings him or her sense of achievement and enjoyment.

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Marc Accetta is a life coach and founder of Marc Accetta Seminars. More related information on improving personal and professional life can be accessed at this blog page.