Leaping Life's Hurdles: Losing a Loved One

Death is inevitable. It is part of the human life cycle: people are born every minute, and people die every minute. Death maybe in the farthest loops in time, or it may be just around the corner, but no one actually knows when it will happen.

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Aside from the fear of one’s own demise, losing a loved one can also have a similar emotional toll. As the brain is capable of linking emotions to memories, this results in distress for people who have lost their spouse, child, or parent. Memories of past conversations and time spent together are some of the things people remember when they think of their departed loved one that can elicit deep sorrow or anxiety. It is best for the grieving individual to be surrounded by family and friends during such tough time. Seeking counseling or professional help can also be one way of dealing with such great loss.

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In fact, experts note that those who seek support from family, friends, or professionals, heal faster than those who grieve on their own. Although those who are grieving understand that they cannot bring their loved ones back, they have beautiful memories to remember.

As a life coach, Marc Accetta has helped people in accepting the loss of a loved one. Follow this Twitter account for related articles.

Haters going to hate: Dealing with critics

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As much as the adage "We can't please everybody" rings truth, the existence of critics in life is inevitable. Most people have experienced being criticized, and it's never a pleasant experience. So how do you deal with criticism?

Don't be too hard on yourself

Most often, people’s worst critics are themselves. Many are never satisfied with what they’ve accomplished and strive for more. While this is perfectly acceptable, it's also good to cut yourself some slack. It's not good to dwell on the negative. All you need is a little appreciation or reward after so much hard work.

Feel the emotions and then accept them

It hurts to be criticized, but it's all right to feel the pain. Holding the pain in or pretending it never bothered you will only stack up the negative emotion and eventually you'll snap. Allow yourself to feel sad and then afterward, accept the criticism for what it is and try to do better next time.

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Listen objectively and calmly

When receiving negative feedback for something you said or did, it can be difficult to stay calm. It's also hard not to take criticism personally, but that will be your first mistake. Take criticism as an avenue for self-improvement.

Never lash out in anger

It's normal to feel sad and even angry when receiving harsh criticism, but it's never okay to lash out. Anger won't solve anything nor would it be a good reflection of your character. If you must object (when you feel strongly that you're misunderstood), keep your temper in check and speak calmly.

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Life coach Marc Accetta provides valuable guidance to people who want to change their lives for the better. Follow this Facebook page for more life lessons and other related stories.

REPOST: Productivity guru David Allen shares his 3 best tricks for saving time

Avoiding distractions at work is not an easy task. The following are some of the tips from David  Allen, a productivity expert, toward a more organized and stress-free life.

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We're always looking for a new morning routine, the ideal office environment, or the latest time-saving trick to maximize our daily productivity.

With the flurry of resources and information out there, it can be difficult to know where to start and what will actually work.

We decided to ask David Allen, the productivity expert and author of the best-seller, "Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity," to share his top three tips.

Here's what Allen says will put you on a path towards a more organized and stress-free life:

1. Have something to write with at all times.
Whether it is a legal pad and pen or a smartphone app, it is crucial to have a place to record thoughts. "Never keep anything in your head. Your head is not designed for holding ideas. It’s designed for having ideas," says Allen. "If you want to maximize productivity, you have to make sure you’re not trying to use your head as your office. It's a crappy office."

Allen prefers a pen and paper — but there are also a handful of great to-do list apps, including: Todoist (free or $29/year) categorizes your tasks, sets dues dates, and allows you to share tasks with anyone; Any.Do (free) is a quick and simple app with a playful interface that helps you get your day off to a productive start; and Carrot ($2.99) is a to-do list with a personality, and turns everything into a game to help those who have a hard time meeting deadlines get things done.

2. Use an 'in-basket.'
Allen uses the term "in-basket" to refer to the place where you can throw all of the things you haven't yet decided what to do about — notes, mail, flashlights that have dead batteries, etc. — so that you don't have to think about them in the moment.

"You should have one at home and at work," says Allen. "It needs to be a very specific, clean, clear bucket to throw that stuff into."

Find a spare storage basket or container and repurpose it as an in-basket, or pick a bin up at Ikea or Target for under $15.

3. Pay attention to what has your attention.
"This is the most subtle hack. Start noticing what is pulling at your head, because that’s a sign that there are decisions you haven’t made or organization you haven’t done," explains Allen. "Decide exactly what the very next action is that you have to take about it. Getting a clear head is how you get there." 

Start with focus — it's half the battle, says Allen.


Marc Accetta is a life coach who helps people achieve their optimal personal growth. Like this Facebook page for more updates.

REPOST: The truth about yourr job performance

In reality, speaking the truth may cause negative feelings to staff members, but when done skillfully, according to this article, it is much more likely to improve performance, and therefore results.

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We all know a technically strong leader with a well-deserved reputation for harshness toward people. Staff members complain about it. The leader’s peers can’t believe she gets away with it.

All too often, this leader’s annual evaluation is filled with praise for her technical prowess but barely mentions her troubling style with people. The review meeting focuses on her technical successes; as the employee leaves the boss shakes her hand and offers an afterthought: “You could put a little more effort into your people interactions.”

Because the skill deficit is downplayed, no discussion occurs about what success would look like or how it would be measured. The leader exits, thrilled at her great review, oblivious to the difficulty with her style. And the boss secretly hopes she will change her approach. But she doesn’t because she doesn’t know she should. Because no one has told her the truth.

What restrains organizational truth-telling? Fear of hurt feelings or injured relationships. Fear of conflict and confrontation. Fear that a valued technical resource might leave the organization.

It is human nature to quickly tally up the potential cost of speaking out. In reality, speaking the truth may cause these or other challenges, but when done skillfully, it is much more likely to improve performance, and therefore results.

Imagine what losing this fear of truth-telling might yield for your company.

Employee satisfaction grows and subsequently productivity rises. Problems are reported early, before customers are impacted. People bring forward new ideas, no longer worried about offending their leader by suggesting work be done differently.

What truths about performance are withheld in your organization? What cost does the resulting lack of employee knowledge impose on the organization? How are results impacted when the truth is unspoken?

What simple truths about performance do you need to speak for the betterment of your organization?

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Marc Accetta uses his unique style called “edutainment” in conducting his seminars as a life coach. Like this Facebook page for more updates.

How to deal with failure

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We all have to accept that failure is a part of our lives. We know this is true but it doesn't make failure less painful. Below are some ways to grin and bear it:

Acceptance

Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. You cannot ignore the pain. Embrace it, own it – this will help the process of healing. Accepting failure is also admitting that you have made some mistakes. Analyze the situation to find out what you did wrong but don't dwell too much on the negative. From here you can try to work out how you can learn from your mistakes and eventually find success.

Keep yourself busy

It's hard to get over failures but one of the ways you can speed up the process is by keeping yourself busy. This can be done through a different hobby, completely unrelated to the endeavors you've failed to do; or it could be your new plan of action to correct your mistakes. Keep moving forward and success will come knocking at your door.

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Redefine failure

Don't think of failure as the end. Endings are simply new beginnings. Mistakes teach you lessons that you can apply in life to achieve success. They give you experiences that are necessary for personal growth and maturity. Remember that success is a matter of failing many times to eventually find a solution that works.

Believe in yourself

Once you lose your confidence in yourself, everything will come crashing down. That is not a reason to think lowly of yourself and give up on everything. Failure is giving up without trying again. No matter what, believe that you can be who you want to be.

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Hi, my name is Marc Accetta and I live to inspire other people to live to their greatest potential. Visit my Google+ page for more helpful tips on life and all things in between.

REPOST: 5 Tips For Exceptional Leadership

Becoming a leader is a huge responsibility and not everyone is cut out for the role. This article from Forbes shares some tips on how to be a good leader.

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What makes a good leader? Looking at my own personal growth at SAP, I have found that the Holy Grail of leadership today is engagement. It’s only through truly engaging customers that we’ve increased profitability, and only through employee engagement do we increase productivity. I have been lucky enough to work with an executive coach who truly understands how leaders can inspire teams and foster engagement within both their organizations and their customers’ organizations. This is some of the insight I’ve gained from her on engagement, people management, and leadership.

Build a team of your own personal challengers

A recent article in the Economist claimed that as technology continues to become more intelligent, the role of the leader will center more and more on innovative thought leadership. In order to prepare themselves for this reality, leaders must continually nourish their minds with complex problems, new ideas, and divergent perspectives. To this end, everyone needs their own group of personal challengers; external experts who fulfill that part of their development and growth on an ongoing basis. This could be mentors, coaches, business advisors, or just friends who work in different industries. While it takes some work to assemble and practice, it’s a critical element to developing your breadth of thinking and continuing your growth.

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Convene and intervene
A very helpful leadership philosophy that I have learned is to convene and intervene. On one hand, part of being a leader is cultivating growth which entails convening people under a common purpose and allowing ideas to flourish. On the other hand, it’s about knowing when to jump in and steer the ship which entails helping the team take their ideas and shape them into something meaningful and executable. The leadership philosophy of convene and intervene allows you to be more present in a meeting by taking the onus off getting to the answer and instead focusing on the process of watching ideas grow and then simply shaping them. Not only does this help people feel engaged in the process, it also helps you learn a lot about the people you work with.

Two-to-one

Traditional thinking says that when coaching people, be sure to balance things that are working (positives) with lessons to be learned (negatives). Recent thinking suggests that the magic ratio is not 1:1, but in fact, 2:1. The 2:1 theory is that by emphasizing the positives, you create more buoyancy, leaving people feeling bullish and supported while at the same time having something constructive to work on. It’s so easy to jump right into the issue, especially in a company like ours where urgency can sometimes rule the day. I find myself needing reminders to adhere to this simple 2:1 rule of thumb, but when I do, I am stunned by the results.

Flying high and diving deep

Leadership in a sales driven organization requires an interesting balance of skills: the ability to help refine the details while simultaneously understanding the business with enough breadth to shape the strategy. The balance of knowing when to ‘fly high’ and ensure the overall health of the business, and when to ‘dive deep’ and run right alongside the teams, is a careful balancing act that is imperative to master for the sustainable health of both the business and the team. It can be really unnerving for people when a leader moves from one to the other quickly, which happens when leaders have both skills. Over time, and with amazing support, I have learned that announcing the switch – in a deliberate way – can help people understand what you’re doing. It ensures that people know they’re still trusted even though you need to understand the finite detail, and it allows them to understand that you also see the big picture and are looking out for their long term wellbeing.

Give, give, give, gone

Because there is never enough of it, time is the most valued gift we have to give. I’ve learned that when you have time with someone, give them everything you’ve got – your absolute undivided attention. If you say you’ll do something for them, do it there and then. Make the phone call, find them the document, send the email – but when they leave, move onto the next thing. This means you can always be true to your word, people get from you what they need, and you’re fresh and available to do it again when you move on to your next meeting.

Follow this Marc Accetta Facebook page to learn more about the characteristics of a good leader.

REPOST: 8 Ways to Promote Your Business as a Leader in the Field

To be able to succeed in managing business, having an excellent leadership skills is a must. This article shares the key responsibilities of an excellent leader.

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Clear values, innovation, pricing strategies, passion, and branding are all key attributes that will help to transform new and existing businesses into trusted household names. Yet without excellent leadership skills, a business can quickly crumble. Read on for 8 simple ways to promote your business as a leader in the field.

Strong Values

Strong values lay the foundation for a solid business, so it’s essential that these values are clearly defined from the get-go. Put some effort into the vision statement, instead of throwing something together quickly. Create a truthful set of values that radiates the company nature and intent. Don’t be afraid to make changes along the way. As the business blossoms, its key values will need to be tweaked.

Uniqueness

What makes your business different from the thousands of other similar businesses? A unique selling proposition is essential for attracting customers and standing out from the crowd. Define your niche, then promote it. Once you harness your skills and bring a unique set of skills to the market, your business is destined to prosper.

Honesty

Benjamin Franklin said that honesty is the best policy. This certainly rings true when it comes to leading a business to success. Your moral character, integrity, and honesty will all come into play when leading a business. Set the bar high and encourage a healthy work ethic, and you will find your employees will be happier and more productive in the process.

An Excellent Management Team

An excellent business needs a highly skilled management team behind it. Oracle chose to make Safra A. Catz and Mark Hurd Co-CEOs of the Oracle Corporation.

When asked why Oracle needed two CEOs, Hurd replied, “We’re a big company. This is bigger than the sales force. It’s bigger than Safra and me. Bigger than Larry, Safra and me. … It’s the development team, other teams. We have over 130,000 people. We need a lot of leadership in our company.” Oracle’s CEO shake up shows that it’s not afraid to take risks to make sure the company succeeds.

Leaders can take note from Oracle by choosing to step away from the norm. Companies should always be structured to fit the needs of their own goals.

Ability to Delegate

The ability to delegate is important for creating a well-organized business that will flourish. Leaders sculpt the vision of the company, but they will also need to trust their team to develop this vision and allow it to grow. Delegating tasks is a sign of strength as it proves the company has faith in its staff.

Push Things Forward

It’s important to adapt according to advances in technology and the ever-changing needs of customers. Oracle’s Mark Hurd is leading the company to success with a new cloud subscription strategy that could potentially generate a $10 billion annual cloud subscription revenue. Hurd’s strategies are paying off as a cloud subscription revenue run rate of almost $2 billion was reported in Oracle’s latest year-endings earnings reports.

Study Leaders

Modeling is a system where an individual observes an expert to extract parts of their beliefs, behaviors, languages, and strategies in order to achieve similar results in their own field. While you may not want to delve into the complex world of neuro-linguistic programming, by studying inspirational role models you can learn to improve your skills and become a better leader.

Choose to Inspire and Motivate

Finally, motivating and inspiring your team is important in any business. If you’re leading a start-up to success, you will need to inspire your team to see and believe in your vision.

Incorporating bonuses will reward staff for their hard work and motivate them to work to their full potential, while giving away equity is another way for your team to feel invested in the success of the company.

Leading a business requires forecasting, strength, perseverance, commitment, clear values, and the ability to inspire and motivate while trusting your team to carry out your ideals and visions.

Max DePree put it well when he said, “The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.”

Follow this Marc Accetta Twitter account for more tips on how to achieve success.